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- Anstice taps K on the shoulder with the butt of his dire spear. "There has to be a place to drink around here."
- Kinqueduran nods, resting the Lance of Mars Descending on his shoulder. "I know of a place. It's always raining, every table has a small pavilion, nobody respectable goes there."
Anstice: "Sounds perfect."
Kinqueduran: "Yeah. Perfect. It might even have a name."
- Anstice bows. "Lead onwards, oh scion of disreputable places."
- Kinqueduran chuckles bitterly, leading the way.
The place turns out to be just as disreputable as Kinqueduran described it. The cloth-of-ruby pavilions are stained with ancient grease, probably older then many kingdoms on Creation. The waiters probably don't press their shirts more then once a day and some of the more humanoid ones are showing a slight shadow around the face almost as if they aren't taking immaculate care of themselves.
The other patrons are drinking from goblets that don't shine even as bright as the moon, not even causing faint pain to the eyes when struck by a stray beam of light. And the food looks distinctly less then perfect. Sometimes the cream-poofs are lopsided!
- Anstice blinks at this. "This is disreputable?"
- Kinqueduran looks at Anstice. "We're in Yu-Shan."
Anstice: "Yes, but so was the dark place. I think."
- Kinqueduran shrugs and heads towards the pavilion he always preferred, seating himself and totally ignoring the cranky-looking godling seated there.
- Anstice just follows K in.
Uncle Elephant: “Where do you think you are? This is my seat.”
- Kinqueduran leans back in his chair across from Uncle Elephant, placing his boots on the edge of the table. "And this is my seat."
- Uncle Elephant stands up, towering head, shoulders and chest over the former Red. "I refuse to share my pavilion with someone who smells of death. Remove yourself!"
Kinqueduran: "Look, this has been my pavilion for a while. You don't like it, you can go somewhere else. I'm just here to get a drink."
- Anstice blinks mildly at the god. "K, weren't you saying something about what elephants smelled of earlier?"
- Kinqueduran glances at Anstice. "No, I was agreeing with your remarks about elephants."
Anstice: "Oh. I forgot who started it. There's just so much to say."
Uncle Elephant: "I will not be mocked! You offend the dignity of the greatest of mammals, those with Teeth Beyond Compare and Noses Second To None! Now, begone before you taste my wrath!"
- Kinqueduran stands slowly, cracking his knuckles. "Normally, I'd probably just leave, but you caught me on a bad day."
Anstice: "You mean keys, Uncle. We use them for pianos."
Kinqueduran: "They also make nice sword hilts."
- Uncle Elephant trumpets his rage, his trunk extending to its full length and waving menacingly in the air.
Other patrons, hearing the elephant-god's cry of rage, begin to drift toward the impending brawl. The Lions will arrive shortly...but until then, this could be entertaining.
- Kinqueduran grabs his chair, slinging it up in a wild attempt at striking the elephant over the head.
- Anstice hooks the drink from the table the elephant god was sitting at, catching it and sipping, making a face. He waves a hand, tugging at the elephant's fate with a hidden twist of his fingers.
- Anstice stays in his seat, smiling at the elephant. "Look, this is all in fun, Uncle. I am sure K has an apology planned for when you are not so charmingly enraged."
- Uncle Elephant frowns, lowering his trunk. "Well...I. Harrruph." the bulky god returns to his seat, looking somewhat confused.
- Kinqueduran paces around behind the elephant god, looking to Anstice, his right hand flexing around the haft of his spear.
A feminine voice from the rear of the gathered gaggle of gods calls out. "Uncle Elephant! They're using charms on you! They insulted your children and now hide it!"
- Anstice stands to try to see who is stopping his wonderful plan. "You would prefer further violence, oh lady with the dulcet tones?"
- Kinqueduran glares at the crowd, then at Anstice, and shrugs. "Well, ¬I¬ would."
- Anstice rolls his eyes. "Oh, go on, hit him while he isn't looking like usual."
- Kinqueduran obliges with a grin, thwacking the elephant brutally across the back of the head with his spear haft.
- Uncle Elephant coils his trunk up and around the shaft, knocking it away from his massive head. "I have had enough of you! Puny mortals who defile the air with their foul smells and words!" Trumpeting his anger once more, the massive god barrels through the table, sending it flying and charging straight at Kinqueduran. Anstice finds the muscular trunk wrapping around his stomach and hoisting him into the air
- Anstice uses the spear to pry his way out of it, landing and rolling away to stand near the crowd with a sigh. "Well, I tried... Hi, there. What's your name?"
- Kinqueduran falls back, rolling with the fall to end up on his feet. "Don't flirt with the waitresses, Anstice, I'll tell Mendhari!"
- Uncle Elephant slams his yard-long ivory tusks into Kinqueduran's chest and belly, ramming the smaller Sidereal to the ground. The red glitter around Kin deflects a fraction of the force of the attack, but the enraged elephant hardly notices
- Anstice pulls a face. "I'm collecting witnesses to prove this wasn't my fault! It's not flirting!"
- Kinqueduran looks pissed, setting his shield before him as he hurls himself at the elephant-god again. The Lance of Mars Descending streams red fire, lashing back and forth, striking at one tusk, then the other, then driving into the elephant's belly. "You HAD to use your tusks, didn't you?!"
The waitress, a rumpled mass of silk and velvet laughs and wanders away, dragging her folds on the ground.
- Uncle Elephant coils his trunk defensively, trying to snatch at the spear as it jabs for him, but not doing very well...
- Anstice is blatantly open and unprepared for attack, spear hanging askew in his grasp as he turns his back to the raging elephant god, looking again for the interfering Sidereal.
- Uncle Elephant trumpets a deafening blast of sound and wraps his bloody trunk around Kin, pinning his arms to his side. Once the struggling Sidereal is firmly held in his nose, the elephant god carefully begins inserting his tusks into Kinqueduran's back.
- Anstice steps up and onto the elephant's back, raining savage blows to the unprotected back of the head with the pointy end of his spear, gouts of godly blood spraying into the crowd as he topples the elephant, kicking K when they land with a thump that rattles all the plates in the place. He kicks K in the side. "Dammit, K, see what you made me do?"
- Uncle Elephant turns toward the other Sidereal, having discounted him in his anger. Now annoyed by the attack, the elephantine deity flicks his tusks at the spear instead of impaling Kinqueduran on them
- Anstice obviously lands a pretty painful blow, now trying to pry K out of the trunk with the edge of his spear. He waves at the arriving lions as if greeting them. "A little help here?"
Announcing by ear-shattering roars, a team of three massive Celestial Lions arrives. The crowd of watchers instantly disperses, some vanishing on the spot. Uncle Elephant drops Kinqueduran to the ground discreetly and raises his arms and trunk above his head.
- Kinqueduran gasps for breath, unable to move beyond rolling onto his back and staring up at the Lions.
- Anstice raises his own when the elephant god does, though stays standing on his shoulders. "Nice response time. Only it might have been nice before I hit Uncle here to try to get him to let go."
- Kinqueduran clumsily flips Anstice the bird.
The Lions glower, in trio, at Anstice. "You are being evicted. You and your friend. Come with us."
Anstice: "Hey! What about Tusk here? He was the one doing the damage."
- Kinqueduran coughs weakly. "Yeah...that ass threw a fit...all I did was sit down."
The largest of the Lions carefully picks Kinqueduran up in his jaws and turns, waiting for Anstice to comply. The Lion's jaws move idly as if chewing, but the massive and lethally sharp teeth don't actually rend Kinqueduran into bloody shreds of Sidereal sweetmeat. Though by the amount of diamond-clear saliva in the cavernous mouth and the movements of the man-sized tongue, it seems the Lion might be thinking about it. But he wouldn't do that. It's illegal.
- Celestial Lion shakes his head, mane swaying. "You are being evicted for other reasons. Uncle Elephant will be fined. Your eviction supersedes your punishment for public brawling with a deity."
- Kinqueduran wheezes. "I still think you fuckers are overreacting."
- Anstice sighs, hopping down from his perch. "Fine, fine."
The Lion holding Kin becomes slightly less restrained in his idle chewing and the former Red feels teeth-pricks.
- Kinqueduran coughs. "Ow! Ow! Overreacting!"
Anstice: "Oh, quiet, you. Or I'll tell Mendhari to beat you with a lamp."
Kinqueduran: "She's probably going to do that anyway."
The three Lions escort Kinqueduran and Anstice to the Gate they entered by and shove, or in Kin's case, spit, the two Sidereals through the portal and back into Creation. Kinqueduran finds himself feeling slightly better then he did before and he's certainly clean. Must be the lion-spit.
- Kinqueduran leans heavily on his spear, breathing hard.
Anstice: "That was FUN! Let's do it again tomorrow."
Anstice: "You're just mad because I'm fine."
Kinqueduran: "Yeah...I am."
Anstice: "Ok, next time I'll get beaten up, and you can collect witnesses."
Kinqueduran: "Yeah. I'm going to bed now."
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