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Antares looks at Furud, still out on the bleachers. "If we're planning mayhem, I'm gonna go to my thinking spot. C'mon, unless you want to go back to class."
Furud "Sounds like a plan." He smiles. "Besides, what's one more skipped class when I have detention for the next twenty years already?"
Antares "You can drive, it'll save time." Antares grins at him, heading for the parking lot.
Antares When they get to the car, she says, "Head for Trudeau Canyon."
Furud stops, with his hand on the handle of the door. "... Are you serious?"
Antares "It's the big hole in the ground, you can't miss it." She looks at him over the car, her eyes opaque. "I like to sit out on the railway bridge that runs across near the road."
Furud "I haven't been there... in years." He avoids her eyes and gets in the car, leaning across to open the door for her.
Antares slides in, not saying anything for a minute. "It's quiet there at night," she says, as if not sure whether she should explain herself to him.
Furud points up at the sun without saying anything, and pulls out of the parking spot, heading off towards the bridge. After a few minutes, he says, "Why would you want to go back?"
Antares glances at him and starts to answer a couple of times, then stops, looking angry. "Pull over here," she says after a minute of uncomfortable silence. She taps her knuckle on the window, indicating the rusted rail bridge some distance off to their right.
Antares Out of the car, she starts walking fast, angling through a weed-filled lot toward the tracks.
Furud does so, the tires crunching loudly on the gravel shoulder as he stops. He follows Antares towards the tracks
Antares stays silent until she's out on the bridge, relaxing a bit as the empty air grows below her. She turns around, walking backward and looking at Furud curiously. "This is where I come to think," she says, making another go at the explanation.
Furud looks uneasy as he steps out onto the bridge, and looks up at her. "Why?"
Antares shrugs, waving a hand at the road bridge running parallel not far away. "I dunno. It's peaceful at night, just me and the dark and the deep. No one thinks to look for me out here."
Antares "Don't you ever need a place like that?"
Furud shrugs, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Yeah. I usually go to The Hole, or sit on a roof."
Antares "Same thing." Antares switches from the middle of the tracks to the outside, swinging around a support beam with one arm and looking out and down. "I know you're not afraid of heights, so cut the bullshit."
Antares She looks like she's upset at him for something, but not sure how to say it.
Furud "It's not about the heights, and you know it." He stares out across the chasm, directly opposite from the road bridge.
Antares "No one else has any trouble bringing it up. You got something to say to me, say it." She glares at him, one hand clenching on the girder, the other one fisting over empty space. "You want to ask if it's my fault? You want to ask what it was like? Fucking ask already."
Furud "No, I don't! I don't want to remember." He grips the steel beam, white-knuckled. "I don't want to remember."
Antares "Because you were faking the flu that day, so I took the bus instead of getting a ride from your mom? You've never been sick a day in your life."
Furud turns ashen, and his voice drops. "I've been sick every day since that day. Every day until I made myself forget. Since you left."
Antares tenses her arm, swinging herself back onto the track and into Furud's personal space. "I told you not to take responsibility for me," she says in a choked voice. Her hand makes an abortive motion, like she was going to hit him or comfort him but stopped herself.
Furud "When have I ever listened?" he replies, his voice shaking a little.
Antares "Listen," Antares says. "You can't... you've got to walk away from it. Keep chasing whatever you're looking for with Merope or whoever, do what makes you happy. Just don't--" she bites it off, shaking her head.
Furud "Don't what?"
Antares Antares shakes her head again, fighting for words. "Don't follow me down there. There's enough people buried in that hole already."
Furud "You can't tell me to walk away from it and stay buried yourself." He says flatly. "I did walk away. A long time ago. I thought I was fine again."
Antares steps back, looking like she's been punched.
Antares "Guess I fucked that up, huh."
Furud turns slowly, leaning back against the railing for support as he stares over at Trudeau Bridge. He laughs a little; a strangled sound. "It happens."
Antares takes another step back. "I'm sorry," she says. "I shouldn't have dragged you out here."
Furud looks at Antares for the first time since they left the parking lot. His eyes are unreadable as he watches her. "It had to happen, sooner or later."
Antares Antares' eyes have a trapped look, and she looks like she wants to take another step back but stops herself. "'Scool, right? We'll do this raid thing, and then I'll be outta your hair." She gives a ghastly parody of her usual smile.
Furud looks down, before she gets more than a glimpse of the pain. "I don't want you to."
Antares Antares takes a step closer, then scuffs her feet. "Shit. Fuck. I'm kind of a train wreck, you might have noticed. I just, uh. Sooner or later, I'm gonna do something we can't fix. You see that, right?"
Antares She takes a final step closer and grips his shoulders, willing him to look up and agree.
Furud does look up, into her eyes, and his arms slide around her waist, pulling her even closer. "Stay." he says, fiercely. "Walk with me, towards something better. I'm done with walking away."
Antares stiffens, her hands tightening. "I don't know if I can," she admits in a tiny, jagged voice.
Furud "Find out." He lifts one hand from her waist and brushes his fingers lightly against her cheek.
Antares takes a deep breath, wraps her hand around his, squeezes hard... and steps back. "I've gotta think about this," she says. "I didn't think... I mean, I figured I'd last a month here, tops. This, uh, this scares me." She looks away, then makes herself look back.
Furud lets out the breath he hadn't noticed he was holding and steps back himself. "Yeah... okay." He makes an effort to hide the disappointment. "You know where to find me," he says, finally and pulls his hand out of hers. "Anyway... the plan."
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< HSoS 43 | H So S Timeline | HSoS 50 >
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